The male of the species and our innate fear of the dance floor

The male of the species and our innate fear of the dance floor

With months of planning, you've probably played your event over and and over through your mind a thousand times. You want every last detail to be perfect, and so you should, considering the time, effort and not to mention the money you've spent. With the meal and formalities all done and dusted, you'll no doubt be looking to end the night with a good ol' knees up. The only thing is, your meal has finished and it's only 7:30pm, surely too early to start the band? "but everyone looks a bit restless, maybe we should just get the band on now instead of hanging around for the next hour and a half."

Hold your horses! There's a very good reason why no disco or band starts early, and it all comes down to... the male of the species and our innate fear of the dance floor! Yes, whilst in the comfort of our own home we'll do the pogo stick, take our shoes and socks off and show the other half how we've perfected the Moonwalk, perhaps even better than Michael Jackson did it; we'll bang our heads to the monotonous thumping beats of cheesy 90s dance music, play air guitar to Guns & Roses and Zeppelin and proudly announce at the top of our voice that yes, "I am the one and only". BUT.... in no circumstances are we allowed to venture near that dance floor before it gets dark, before 9pm, and certainly not before we've had our daily recommended alcohol units, as specified by the government. In fact, we'll actively avoid the dance floor until a suitable hour, skilfully dodging "It", and the overzealous group of early starters with their slightly annoying attempts to lure you into their pack. Even if it means we must take the long way round to the bar, we won't be found within 10 feet of the thing until the appropriate time.

So ladies and gentlemen, brides and grooms, please keep this thought in mind when planning your next event; let the boys have a beer before the band starts.